You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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