btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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