I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
