First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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