I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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