his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
