He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
