Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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