i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
