Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
