Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
