so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
