Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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