Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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