I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
