had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have tasted many bathrooms
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
