um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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