Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
