you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
