I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
