even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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