Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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