Quick, to the slutcave!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
