and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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