I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
