I CAN MOONWALK!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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