Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
