: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
