yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
