I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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