i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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