Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
