i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
