How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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