I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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