im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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