Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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