Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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