Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
