i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
