I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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