oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
