i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
