it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
