oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
