ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
