i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
