i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
