What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
