I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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