I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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