If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
